- Getting ready for a show resembles a pre-k arts and crafts class.
- We use candle wax for more things you can imagine. I know, after nipples, what else is there?
- We hate magicians as much as you do, and we hate ourselves most of all.
- Hot MILFS can trade sex for their kids’ magic show. Ugly MILFS can too. So can dads. We just really need human contact. Please?
- When hot trophy wives want to get back at their husbands for cheating, they bang meth-heads and magicians. Perk of the job my friends, perk of the job.
- You don’t like sleeping in as much as magicians do. If you did, you’d be a magician. Or a musician. Or unemployed (see magician/musician).
- We have many different shades of black suits.
- Don’t try to clean our homes. What looks like trash to you is our livelihood.
- Magicians never cry. We should, but we don’t.
- I’d rather be a magician than whatever lame ass shit it is you do (unless you’re a musician).