10 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Magicians

By Zach Waldman | General

May 10
10 Things You Probably Don’t Know About Magicians
  1. Getting ready for a show resembles a pre-k arts and crafts class.
  2. We use candle wax for more things you can imagine.  I know, after nipples, what else is there?
  3. We hate magicians as much as you do, and we hate ourselves most of all.
  4. Hot MILFS can trade sex for their kids’ magic show.  Ugly MILFS can too.  So can dads.  We just really need human contact.  Please?
  5. When hot trophy wives want to get back at their husbands for cheating, they bang meth-heads and magicians.  Perk of the job my friends, perk of the job.
  6. You don’t like sleeping in as much as magicians do.  If you did, you’d be a magician.  Or a musician.  Or unemployed (see magician/musician).
  7. We have many different shades of black suits.
  8. Don’t try to clean our homes.  What looks like trash to you is our livelihood.
  9. Magicians never cry.  We should, but we don’t.
  10. I’d rather be a magician than whatever lame ass shit it is you do (unless you’re a musician).

About the Author

Zach Waldman is a professional comedian and magician based out of Los Angeles, CA. He's a regular performer at The Magic Castle in Hollywood, CA. Zach is available for private parties and corporate events. To learn more, visit www.ZachWaldman.com.